About me

I’m Jo Lofthouse – coach, psychotherapist, veteran childfree stepmum.

When I became a stepmum 13 years ago, I had no idea what I was doing. It happened overnight, and I was completely unprepared. No classes, no resources, no one to talk to. I didn’t know any other stepmums. I threw myself into the role, gung-ho. I was determined to make it work and resolutely did not want to be the wicked stepmum. (If you’re a stepmum reading this, you’re probably nodding along.)

At times, I thought I was going mad. “Is it just me, or is this really, really hard?”

And it was hard to talk about. People assume you’re putting down the kid or the ex. But really, it’s about being absorbed into a system you didn’t create, shaped by someone else’s past, and the trauma of a fractured family. And as a childfree stepmum, the expectation is clear: you’ve got flexibility, so you’ll just fit in.

During this time, I changed career and retrained as a psychotherapist. I started learning more about why this might be so hard – and found tools, language, and strategies to make it better.

I haven’t got everything figured out, but I feel much more confident navigating this role. And I want that for you too. I want childfree stepmums to feel seen, supported, and equipped to handle the mess and complexity without losing themselves in the process.

You deserve a way of doing this that feels more grounded, more doable – and actually fits you.